…….no, not that kind, perhaps a future blog post. The adult entertainment I am thinking about has to do with how many adults seem to have a problem with the idea of Play. We associate play with kids, in fact play is one of the ways kids learn, but then after childhood the concept of Play seems to go away. We must be “grown up” at all times as if Play is childish rather than childlike which means that there is fantasy and imagination, sort of an adult recess. We Americans take great pride in saying “I work hard and play hard” when they have twisted an ankle after not exercising for years or are suffering a hangover because it is a holiday or a weekend which gives us permission to Play. “ Yay! I get to suffer for my play…..because I have worked hard.” This doesn’t make sense does it?
I propose a balance, a blend if you will. Play needs to be a part of life the way work, paying your bills or brushing your teeth is. Even child and pet responsibilities, those groups are dependent on us, can be incorporated into the idea of putting aside time for Play. After the health, safety and welfare of the kids and the pets is handled adults need and must play. The pets and kids can be included in the play but the Adult Entertainment I refer to with Adult Play has to do with grown ups being around other grown ups for fun, pleasure, intellectual pursuits and joy.
Play needs to be “calendared” the way dentist appointments, parent teacher conferences, oil changes and work meetings are. Our society is very fractured when it comes to Play. “You’re just playing around” is said when someone is not pulling their weight, we associate play with lack of seriousness and virtue. In psychotherapy we use the concept of “reframing”. It is not just semantics it is understanding something from a different vantage point and this is what I am inviting you to do with the idea of Adult Play. There is something to the old saying “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.’’ It also makes Jack or Jill a depressed, anxious and angry person.
We are now in The Holidays when somehow we grownups are allowed to Play-if we are not making ourselves insane trying to do the perfect holiday-see last Decembers blog. Make a Holiday resolution to play perhaps without the lubrication of mind altering substances and then keep that resolution into the New Year.
There is a very good chance that you will be better for it if you allow yourself to see Play as just as important as the other “have to’s” in your life.
Make Play a Have To. My wish for you is a joyful, meaningful, peaceful and playful holiday season.
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